"I want my Babybackbabybackbabyback...Ribs..."

Contusion: A severe bruise which indicates blood within the tissues under the skin due to injury. Sometimes the area will swell quite a bit over 1-3 days. Apply cold compress internittently for 72 hours to reduce swelling, then warm compresses after that to help clear up the blood within the tissues...

...AND IT HURTS LIKE AN (EXPLETIVE DELETED!!!)

So, here's how it went.

Over the weekend, I was doing the matinee performance of Scapino!, and during the 'Sack Scene' with Jack Parrish, I vaulted up onto the five-foot plus-high dockside piling to do the 'Intro' for the Japanese 'Sausage Ninja' character.


My foot slipped.

The piling caught me under the arm as I fell, hitting me between rib numbers 7 & 8, and knocking the wind out of me. The audience gasped, but I shouted out "I'MA O-KAY!!" and they laughed heartily. I finished the scene and got out of there quickly. My ribcage was all banged-up , my right forearm was scraped, and I had a cut on my right wrist. It was kind of hard to get a good deep breath.

We finished the show, (Pretty strongly, too) but we had to cancel the evening performance and the sunday matinee. I went to Patient First and they X-rayed me. I told the x-ray technician that she had to take the photos again because, as I said, "I blinked." She stared back at me like I was from Mars. The Doctor looked me over and said I should be fine in two or three days. He had me sign two prescription slips. as I signed them, I managed to wheeze out a self-deprecating joke, "Now, Doc, don't you go selling my autograph on E-bay,..." He, too, stared vacantly back at me, saying, "I'm sorry?"

That Patient First, I tell ya-- Tough room.

As I write this, it is Monday evening, and I feel a great deal better. My side is still sore to be sure, but it is a marked improvement over yesterday. The cruelest twist is that, of all things, it hurts to laugh the most, so I couldn't talk to Dave Clark for very long yesterday, because he seemed to delight in tormenting me with his comedic stylings, Dat Poughkeepsie Baaa-stid. Family Guy and American Dad almost killed me last night, too. So I must be stern, grim, concentrated, focused, and--

*FRRRHN!!*

Whoa!! I just farted... Heh-heh...haha-HHHAAA--OWWWWWWWWW!!!MOTHEROFPEARLBAILEY!!!!

...Unhh...

...so, anyway...I am up and moving around a little, and my aim is to do some Yoga tomorrow to stretch it out & release some of the muscle tension in that area.

Thanks to everyone who called or wrote to me asking if I needed anything. I really hated not being physically able to do the show-- It made me appreciate the opportunity to do what I love even more, and to cherish every moment. I am also very thankful, because it could have been a lot worse.

I also wish to extend a special thank you to my wife, Jennifer, who took care of me through it all-- It amounts to caring for a whiny thirteen year-old boy for three days straight...

See you on wednesday, when hopefull I can return to full YAAAAA!!!!Strength...

PEACE,

Scott Wichmann